Ayan - Tamil movie review

I run a company called "Dash of Masala" and frequently have people ask me what "masala" means. I generally struggle to explain the meaning of this ubiquitous and uniquely Indian word, just because it is so pervasively used in India, not just to signify that perfect blend of spices that whet your appetite and add piquancy to your dish, but also to signify any kind of perfect, finely-honed blend.

And "masala" is the word that sprang to mind when I watched "Ayan" the tamil movie, last night. Why? Because it was the perfect entertainer. I am one of those people who prefer movies that are light, fun and exotic. I am also one of those people who love to watch beautiful people dressed in clothes that cannot be carried off by the hoi-polloi, prancing to throbbing music, beating up bad guys and becoming good by the end of the movie. So, by definition, I am a masala movie fan. And the movie "Ayan" was all that and more!

Take a large dollop of two extremely beautiful, young, vibrant, gorgeous, drool-worthy specimens of humanity. Saute that in a story line of drug lords, African diamonds, movie piracy, diamond smuggling, international travel, customs officers and a gory murder. Add a large cup of a steamy love affair, a back-stabbing brother-in-law, a huge lover's tiff, a big misunderstanding, and a wonderful making up. Stir fry for about 3 hours. Add a garnish of a couple of sentimental scenes with a widowed, doting mother. And you got it! A masala movie!

Surya, as the hero, is the ultimate droolable male. Beautiful, with greek god chiseled features, gorgeously muscle bound, 6 pack abs, and wonderful emoting abilities, he commands the screen. Tamanna is his lissome love interest, she of the pouting lips, creamy skin, large doe-like eyes and a slender, curvaceous figure. Her role is that of a playful, flippant young college going girl, who is very sure of her beauty and her appeal. All other protangonists are a foil for this beautiful pair - you cannot take your eyes off the screen when either one or both appear.

No Indian movie is complete without the song and dance sequences. And this one has it in abundance: fabulous music, hip-shaking gyrations, gorgeous costumes, lots of supporting dancers, opulent scene settings, and above all, the Indian male's dream - the heroine wearing the floating chiffon saris complete with beautifully cut backless blouses.

The scenes set in Congo were simply breathtaking with rugged landscapes, undulating deserts and vast rocky mountains.

Ok, now to cut to the chase: here is the story in all of one paragraph: Hero is a bad man who smuggles diamonds, indulges in movie piracy but has a good mom (Oh, glorious womanhood!), meets heroine, falls in love, dances with her, fights with her, makes up with her and then suddenly switches sides to help the cops catch a rival thug. So, he becomes a good guy and his mom asks the cop who worked with the hero to help her son become a good guy. So he becomes a good guy and makes his mom happy. End of story. :)

Rating: 5 stars, if you like easy-on-the-eye actors, glorious settings, fabulous dances, fantastic costumes, lots of fights, hot chases, and a forgettable story line.

If you are a girl, go see it for Surya's glistening muscle-bound hot bod.

If you are guy, go see it for the curvy cute Tamanna's beautiful pouty smile.

Tamil Movie Review - "Villu" - watch at your own risk!

Friday night was, unfortunately for me, nostalgia night. I wanted to hear someone speak my mother tongue, Tamil, so I succumbed to the nostalgia and dragged my unwilling husband to see the new Pongal release Tamil movie called "Villu". I went because of the the famous names associated with it - actor Vijay and actress Nayantara playing the lead roles and actor Prabhu Deva foraying into Direction for this movie.

I want to give you some positive feedback and so I have racked my brains all night. Ah! I got it! I heard people speak in Tamil! And at the end of the movie, my husband and I (when we finally figured out the story line) got to spend another hour discussing how the movie should have actually ended: with the sandstorm revealing Vijay's father's body, buried all those years ago, and Vijay finally cremating his father's body with honor. My husband was of the opinion that it too, would have been incorporated, had the Producers not run out of money! :)

The movie was splice of nearly every imaginable scene ever played in a Tamil movie and some of the horrific atrocities committed on women in most Indian movies.

MGR's old films were spliced in and copied; there were animated cows dancing, kicking and spewing turd on the very boring Vadivelu (I would like to meet the person who still thinks he is a comedian!); animated beehives falling, with animated bees stinging real people; German men who believed that African Chimpazees can look and speak like humans and who gyrated badly to Tamil movie songs; fat women bathing; a blue ray disc that was a blue CD stored in some blue room accessed via a blue corridor; thugs who wanted to abduct a girl on her wedding day; army officers who suddenly became rich thugs and lived in Germany...

Add to all that, the lead female role played by Nayantara was some kind of nightmare. It appeared that Nayantara had been directed to display all the navarasas (nine emotions - love, hate, disgust, cruelty, kindness, courage, wonder, sorrow and fear) in 9 seconds. Her face contorted every ninth second, making the scenes she was in, a blur.

Vijay, who played the lead male role, did what he is usually good at - danced around, acted tough, and looked good. It appeared that in one of the dances, Prabhu Deva (the dancing maestro, who has unfortunately strayed from his real talent as a dancer and actor) has danced and superimposed Vijay's face. It made for weird scenes of a body juxtaposed horribly with the face. In addition, the dance steps were repetitive. When the step was performed for the first time it was cool. The second time it hit me on the head. The third time, it drove a nail through my heart. Enough!

Prabhu Deva is a much better actor and dancer than he is a director. I implore him to switch back to his original career. I used to love his acting and really enjoyed his dancing.

The film was disjointed and muddled. The comedy made me want to cry. The editing was choppy. The story line was tired. It was the longest 3 hours of my life. I wanted to walk away 10 minutes into the movie, but by then, my husband was in the mood for being a sleuth so we stayed in order to see if we could eventually discover the existence of a story line. To Director Prabhu Deva's credit, we finally got the story (I think!) by the time the curtains came down 3 hours later.

I guess I could have reviewed this movie with one sentence: if you plan to spend $8 on this movie, don't!

Buy a burger instead, and call me if you want to hear spoken Tamil!